There are
things that people are concerned about that turn into anxiety or it may remain
as worry. There is a continuum where stress is concerned and worry is another
word for this type of distress. Stress, when viewed on a continuum, looks likes
this: eustress –stress—distress.
Eustress
is the type of stress most associated with nervousness that precedes something
important like an exam, the first day at a new job, or asking your girlfriend
to marry you. It is an anticipatory stress, a good stress that we have all
experienced many times in our lives from daily interactions.
Stress
includes things such as bills coming due, an argument with your mate or
children or work difficulties (not getting the job promotion you applied for). Stress in life is unavoidable, as life has a
way of having its way with us. Stresses can begin to get out of hand for us
all; adults, teens and children. Add to the everyday challenges an illness of a
family member, a geographic move, a relationship break-up, loss of a job,
bankruptcy,
a major accident, or unable to find a new job, and soon you
will find yourself in major stresses.
Stress,
although normal, has an accumulative nature. It builds up over time. We cannot
always remove existing stress before new stress is piled on. That is
particularly true in the present economy. It is also true when people mentioned
they were diagnosed with an illness such as cancer and then find themselves
going through a divorce and then find they don’t have any health insurance. It
can be a bit more than a person can handle.
KEYS POINTS REGARDING STRESS:
-Stress
is a part of life occurring in both positive and negative events
-Reactions
to stress differ from individual to individual
-Some people
feel stress more in their bodies, some in their thoughts and some more in their feelings.
-Distress
is an emotionally upsetting influence
-We can
learn to effectively manage stress and to effectively manage certain
distress
-Coping
skills are life skills for handling, dealing or managing stress and
distress.
Distress is when it becomes more than you can handle. The
stresses are too many or too intense. Fragmentation takes place inside the
person. How we know distress is taking
place is when emotional upset has become a constant companion. People start
removing things from their lives because they can no longer manage those
things. In distress people remove things where it seems the most obvious to
them that they can let something go. It is not unlike what is currently taking
place in the economy. People are cutting
down on their groceries, going to the dentist, or visiting their doctor. These
are not always the wisest places to make a cut.
Distress
can become collectively known as psychological stressors. This is
when things have become emotionally upsetting and the feelings are pervasive
and not easily eliminated.
PSYCOLOGICAL STRESSORS (DISTRESS)
can combine with Traumatic Events and lead to Losses.
Losses may lead to Feelings of Powerlessness and Helplessness
which leads to more Loss.
Loss may then lead to Depression.
The depression I am speaking about here is functional
depression or depression that evolves as a function of the things going on in
your life.
The above scenario can go on for a period of time and if it
does there is a breakdown of coping skills. We all have copying
skills even though we may be unaware that we are using them. When copying
skills begin to break down it becomes obvious that we are undergoing an
experience of more loss.
Effective coping skills for you might be watching a movie,
talking to someone, spending time with friends, looking for the humor in a
situation, petting the dog, listening to music, exercise or reading a good
book.
When coping skills begin to break down there is an erosion
that takes place around those areas. You are going to the movies less, spending
time with friends less, ignoring the dog, exercising less, and not talking to
people as much.
When coping skills are becoming ineffective or unhealthy the
humor may be impossible to find, the book is no longer being read, the dog is
exiled to the back yard for longer and longer periods of time, and you are not
watching movies or speaking to friends. Here you have little time for yourself
or too much time with little energy to use the time for enjoyment. Feelings of
loneliness, sadness, depression and being unkind to yourself are characteristics
of ineffective
coping skills.
Ineffective coping skills looks like a house that a
bulldozer has begun destroying. No time with friends, no books to be found, no
dog in the yard, and you may feel lost and confused. Thinking may have lost
clarity and direction. You may feel very alone like a brown leaf blowing down
the street. You may not be sure who you are anymore.
Coping skills breaking down or becoming ineffective or
unhealthy is one of the first signs that you have moved into depression.
It always begins with stress.
If any of this feels like something you may recognize as
what you are going through or something that you feel someone you know is going
through, please find someone to talk to about it. Find a friend, a loved one, a
pastor, a counselor, a psychiatrist, or me. You need to talk to someone about
it. It’s important to get it out and get some input and help. Depression is a
very serious disorder than can lead to more serious situations, even suicide.
Depression can last a short time or can stay for ever so don’t wait another
minute. If you see yourself in any of these scenarios, reach out. I am here.
You can message me. I will be glad to put you in touch with someone who can
help you or I will be glad just to listen in complete confidentiality. I don’t
claim to be a medical professional but I will be a friend. And a friend is the
first step to getting help.
Remember, eustress leads to stress (anxiety) which leads to
distress and can progress to depression. If you find yourself in need of a friend, at
least you can have A Cup of Jo today. Stay HealthyJ
Referenced: Dr. Nannete B Mongeluzzo
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