RANDOM TANDOM EXPRESSIONS OF DEPRESSION - A Cup of Jo 12-26-11
Methods of Treatment & My Best Anti-Depressant
Though I am a Nurse, I am by no means writing here as a medical professional on the subject of depression – most simply as one individual who has been depressed for most of my life and has been through much treatment and had many experiences to boot. I know that there are several causes for depression, some of which are abnormal levels of bio-chemicals in the brain, abnormal levels of hormones in ones system, the effect of many other disease processes in the body (such as one of the resulting effects of fibromyalgia) and then those situations in life that cause the saddening effect that plummets one down deep into the dark place in which there is no joy to be found. Depression.
For some, medications are effective and are prescribed and work relatively quickly (within 3 weeks for most) and cause a stabilization of mood to a more normal “happy” place in life. For some, it is harder to find the right medication or the right ‘mix’ of medication that does the job. For some, simply seeing a counselor or a psychiatrist and discussing what are bothering them seems to help. For some, a combination of the two does the trick. Often, as time goes on, the medications have to be changed and adjusted to compensate for the changing levels of chemicals and hormones in the blood stream, which seem to commandeer the mood levels and compensate for changing situations that life has swung your way.
There are many ways that counselors and psychiatrists suggest that you use to compensate the meds you are taking to take the edge off of your depression, to get you to a happier state of mind. They all say exercise. Great! If you WANT to exercise, if you are in the habit of exercising, if you are an exercise fanatic or if you can just WILL yourself to getting up and doing it. That’s all well and good. I have to say: It does help. It changes some levels of chemicals in the brain and makes for a more stable relaxed mood. So exercise does help, and it’s cheap.
Another thing that is suggested always is meditation. Many meditations are out there but there is one that was given to me by my last psychiatrist which I will now give you the link for and it is helpful. It is a meditation about LovingKindness.
This may help you: medicineyaleedu/psychiatry/yntc/care/resources.aspx .
Meditation helps to relax you; puts you in a calmer, more positive state of mind. You can learn these meditations, or parts of them, to say to yourself when you are out and about and something happens that upsets you and you need to calm down. Try it – it works. Plus, it helps to eliminate a lot of negative feelings you may have towards someone who may have done you wrong, that you may have unresolved issues with that may never be resolved. That has been very helpful to me.
I have to say that positive thinking and positive speaking has been my biggest ally. I learned a long time ago to “Keep my mind on the things I do want, and off the things I don’t want.” It works if you work it. When negative thoughts enter your mind, say the complete opposite of it OUTLOUD. Or when you have negative thoughts that just won’t seem to go away, write them down on a piece of paper, draw a line down the middle of the paper and write the complete opposite of it on the other side of the paper. Then tear the paper down the middle. Throw away the left hand side of the paper and read what is left in your hand. They are all positive thoughts. Focus on these. I have used this method many times and it has worked as well. It is a way of retraining your mind to stay off the negative thoughts and focus on the positive possibilities instead. What you focus on will be drawn to you. I realize I am speaking to you as a depressed person who still takes medication to remain stable, but these additional techniques are invaluable tools in which I lean on to supplement my meds.
I have to say, though, that through it all, it is a most valuable asset and blessing if you have the love and support of another human being who is close to you, who loves you and understands you, understands what depression is and what it does to you and how it works. There is no amount of money that can compare to the arms of a friend or a loved one when you just need that hug or love when you just don’t think you can go it alone one more minute. Someone in whom you can trust to be honest with about how you are feeling. I am blessed in that area. I have my husband.
His name is Chris. I met him 9 years ago though I looked for him all of my life. I knew him, knew what he would be like, what he would look like, how he would act, how his sense of humor would be, how his intellect would be, what his habits would be, what his interests would be. But it took me 48 years and 4 other marriages to find him. But I kept looking until I did find him. And though I gave up for a while, something inside of me one day said “He’s out there. Go find him.” And I did. And now I am content and have my one and only true soul mate in whom I have true telepathy with. They say opposites attract. I’d say that’s true. But I’m not so sure they are truly meant to be. I say that because Chris and I are so much alike we hardly have to talk to know what the other is thinking. We finish each other’s sentences or don’t even say them, just act on them. We’d much rather be just he and I than with any other persons in the world and we can sit and talk for hours or sit and say nothing at all for hours. He says every thing I’ve ever needed to hear that loves and calms my heart and soul and he says it all the time and he means it. I can tell. And I feel the same way about him. Let me tell you the story. I’ll make it short.
I had been single for a while, had sworn off men, just working hard, taking care of my family and running a business. One day I heard about eHarmony and got my daughter to sign me up. Guess what? There was not one single match! In the world! I was so mad at that company. “What a rip off!” I thought. How could that be? So then I got my daughter to hook me up on Match.com. I met a few guys through that service, had a couple of dates that I thought would be “the one”, but they turned out to be duds. Nice guys, but just not him.
I pray and I believe in God. So I prayed and asked God where I should look. He said “Huntsville, Alabama”. I said, “Where is Huntsville? I’ve never heard of it!” But I went to Match.com in Huntsville and the first man that popped up was this businessman who I thought would never give me the time of day. He looked too proper for me. I’m kind of laid back, semi-hippy, guitar-carrying type. But I sent him my profile. I didn’t know it but when he got it, he almost deleted it because my name is Jo and he thought I was a guy. But he looked and saw that I was a woman, a nurse, etc. We started IMing, exchanged phone numbers and talked for about 6 months. One day he told me he loved me right out of the blue, right in the middle of a normal conversation about nothing. Later on I told him that it was time we met. “Either we have something going on here or I’m wasting my time.” I told him. So I drove up to Huntsville. (I wasn’t going to dare let him know where I lived.)
The moment we laid eyes on each other, we fell madly in love and the rest, as they say, is history. We visited back and forth for 3 months and then talked about marriage. I got cold feet. He was talking to his father and step-mother about it one day and she told him…”So, go get her!” And he did. He drove down to MS and packed me up and took me back to Huntsville and we got married and that was that! We spent 2 years getting used to each other and it’s been blissful marriage ever since! True story. He is everything I ever knew, ever prayed he was or would be and more. He is a true romantic, my best friend and the best anti-depressant I have! So am I depressed still? Yes. But I have Chris. And he is understanding and supportive and there for me in all the ways I need. God sent him to me a long time ago…it just took me a long time to find him.
Blessed in LoveJ
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